Adventures in Ottawa

Cross Promotion!

2009-12-13T01:26:00.000-05:00

Hey all, in the interest of journalism and my love of tasty beer, I have started a "beer blog" to review all 150 beers on the OCB Craft Beer list before the end of next year. Thus far, I've had 2. Still, not a bad start, and I look forward to a year of good beers!

10 things to know about calling centres

2009-12-05T01:38:00.003-05:00

Ok, so I was at work today, and I compiled a list of 10 things everyone should know about call centres, so here we go!

#1: I don't know what your suppertime is. If it's that important, why are you answering the phone anyways?

#2: If you're rude, we'll be putting you on callback, so you'll get even more calls that you initially did...HOWEVER, if you're polite in your refusal, then we'll leave you alone

#3: Don't say "I don't live here..." It's the most bullsh*t excuse ever, and if it's not your house, then what are you doing there? I'm calling the cops!

#4: Don't leave people who don't speak english or french in charge of the phone...what if it was something important?

#5: We are paid based on our completion rate, so be kind and help us out...most of us are students anyways

#6: Don't put us on hold, you're only tying up your own phone line. We give two "hellos" and thas it!

#7: Market research is not covered under the "Do Not Call List." Just ask us and you won't get more calls, but please be polite about it

#8: Don't be a smartass. This isn't the job I dreamed of as a child; we have feelings you know

#9: Most often we receive a quota for the day, and our supervisors are seemingly random in choosing them. If you fit in the quota and agree to do the questionnaire, you've made someone's day

#10: Wait and LISTEN to what we're saying before you say "I'm not interested..." It may be something important. Furthermore, in some parts of the world people are killed for voicing their opinions, so don't act like a dick when you're asked for yours.

Seriously though, everyone I work with is a human being that has happened to wind up in a shitty job. Please don't treat us like we're dirt, and show some courtesy on the phone...

Thanks

All-nighter breakdown

2009-12-02T02:45:00.000-05:00

6:00 PM: Located all resources, research begins
6:30 PM: Facebook status: workin on essay!
7:30 PM: Research completed, essay outline drafted. First caffeine beverage consumed
8:00 PM: Realization that thesis doesn't work with body of evidence, revise outline
8:10 PM: Draft whole new essay outline
8:45 PM: NACHOS!
10:00 PM: First few pages completed in coherent english, progress seems good at this point. Second caffeine beverage consumed
11:30 PM: Sinking realization that only 4 of 12 pages have been written, and that the last two were irrelevant
11:45: PM: Facebook Status: Still working away... Third caffeine beverage consumed, paranoia begins to creep into subconscious
12:30 AM: Completed half of essay, sinking realization that said half wasn't footnoted properly. Paranoia begins to make an appearance
1:00 AM: 75% finished, but last few pages contain major grammatical errors, and in the case of Waterloo Engineering papers, engrish
1:30 AM: Full-blown hallucinations, consumption of fourth caffeine beverage (Overdose potential is now high)
2:00 AM: Use easybib.com to format bibliography; realize that paper requires chicago/turbian style (on the whim of the prof...what an ass)
2:15 AM: Locate credit card to subscribe to easybib.com, format bibliography
3:00 AM: Finish final few papers, look at self in mirror and feel queasy. Consume another caffeine beverage to settle stomach
3:30 AM: Find another person on the floor who has a working printer, and print off essay
4:00 AM: Crawl into bed, fully dressed, and prepare for an 8:00 AM class...

Outdoors post

2009-11-08T13:38:00.000-05:00

So I have discovered an outdoors internet connection, and considering that it is currently 15C and sunny outside (a strange occurrence in November according to the locals) I have decided to do a Rousseau and go back to nature

We're into the 2nd week of November; papers, midterms and assignments loom over the student body like a towering fortress of academia. And yet, despite all of this, smiles abound on campus. How is it that people can be crushed by work, yet put a grin on their (very tired) faces. Is it prozac? Cocaine? Or is it the knowledge that in 6 weeks everyone will be going home to eat turkey or celebrate whatever it is that they celebrate. So while the days may be getting shorter (why is it dark at 5:30!?) and the weather (for the most part) is getting colder, people know that things are starting to wrap up; and that's why we keep smiling

On a side note, Congratulations to Melissa and Steve on their engagement! Can't wait to see you two and the new puppy come christmastime.

Black bags and outbreaks

2009-10-31T02:00:00.000-04:00

So here we are at the end of October, and what have we done....wait, this isn't a cheesy christmas carol

Anyways, some interesting shenanigans have been going on over here at CU in the past while, so I'll attempt to put them down in order of importance

1) H1N1 Quarantines: 3 people have been quarantined as of today, 2 of them have returned, but still...oh, and 2 other people have strep throat
2) Subwoofers: I thought you couldn't have them. Apparently people across the hall think you can. Security disagreed; rap battle ensued
3) Steak: Had some today, was positively splendid
3.5) As an addendum to the steak, had a totally awesome day out with my mum, who came down to visit
4) Now only have 2 kidney stones! Yay!
5) New jacket; it's lime green <3

Thas all for now, as it seems the drunks on the floor have (finally) quieted down

Thoughts on Art

2009-10-15T23:07:00.001-04:00

Bit of background: Equilibrium is a movie based on a graphic novel where in the near future humanity has eliminated all emotion, good and bad, in an effort to eliminate conflict. There are sense offenders, those who refuse to prescribe to the whole "no feelings" deal, and they collect art

This is where the actual blog post begins: So I was watching Equilibrium today and a thought came to me: what will the legacy of my generation be? My grandparents and parents were the beginning and end of the baby boom era, and I myself am part of Generation Y. Seriously though, what have people my age got to claim as a historical cultural achievement? We have nothing like the Mona Lisa, nothing like the Sistine Chapel, hell, we don't even have something like Stairway to Heaven. Instead my generation is represented by a 2 minute youtube clip of a bunch of rednecks trying to use a honda civic in lieu of a bike at the local moto track. Therefore, I would like to ask everyone ages 18-30 a question: Seriously guys, what the hell happened? I know the 90s were a bit of a rough go, between a recession, genocide, famine, AIDS, bad pop music, depressing grunge music, and a stupid amount of Republican rule in the US, but come on, the world didn't end in 2000 like we all thought it would? Right?! Jeeze, this generation is tragic, it's like watching a monkey try and swallow a hand grenade.

Anyways on a different note a long overdue congratulations to Larissa and Kris on their upcoming nuptials. All the best in planning the big event!

Home for a rest

2009-10-09T13:44:00.000-04:00

Well, it's that time of year when students board trains, planes and (heaven forbid) the greyhound to return home for the Thanksgiving weekend. I guess I was fortunate, in that I got a plane home (my parents love me) instead of one of the other forms of transportation already mentioned.

Anyways, I returned home this morning to find my chi out of whack, namely what used to be my room is no longer my room; it's my brother's now. It seems weird, I've only been gone for 50 days, yet it feels like ages. I guess this is all part of the experience of living (far) away from home.

In other news, Ottawa is now cold in rainy, which can only mean one thing: Snow season is about to start! I count myself one among many looking forward to the coming of the white fluffy stuff and all the wintertime activities associated with it: snowboarding, skating, and beavertails!

The enlargement of the euphemism

2009-10-03T17:10:00.000-04:00

Well here we are in a new season of sitcoms and tastefully written sketch comedy. The one thing I have noticed that has come up over and over again in these hilarious shows is the euphemism as a means of making a joke. For those of you have no idea what I'm talking about, a euphemism is defined as "the substitution of a milder, vaguer word or expression for one considered to be more offensive or unpleasant" by urbandictionary.com (wait...wasn't that supposed to be funny?). Regardless, I have now discovered the ultimate in euphemism comedy. The Euphemismator (http://euphemismator.com/). Basically, you push a button that generates a phrase (for example: Between classes, they were cramming Dr. Feelgood), and laugh at the obvious innuendo that comes from said phrase

On a completely different note, 1 week until I return to the familial home, and I am looking forward to sitting down to a meal that is actually hot and not served out of a chafing dish. Huzzah!

A Lesson in Laundry

2009-09-20T16:04:00.001-04:00

Laundry is a curious thing. Everyone has to do it, and what you bring down to the communal laundry room says a lot about who you are as a person. For example, I find myself laundering an awful lot of t-shirts and jeans, and most of the stuff goes in the dark load. However, every once in a while you come across some surprised. Imagine my shock when some young lass who doesn't look a day older than 16 and would probably still have a hard time purchasing liquor at the age of 20 pull out some of the most scandalous underthings I have ever seen. Seriously, it looked like a Victoria's Secret ad spread out across the folding table. I think the most surprising thing was that this lady was completely unfazed about airing out her laundry (I suppose with that little material, it wouldn't take long to dry anyways), but still. Maybe I'm just old fashioned and believe that you shouldn't have your stuff on display for the world to see, but that's just me.

Anyways, just an thought I would throw out there.

Addendum: Making friends with people that have a clothes-drying rack is a good idea, as it saves you a fortune in drying clothes.

Medical Maladies and other Misadventures

2009-09-15T09:26:00.000-04:00

With all the foofrah and argle-bargle surrounding the health care debate in the US these days, I am once again thankful that I don't live there. 'That's a bold statement Matt" one might be inclined to say, but before you judge, just read this.

I was feeling off Saturday afternoon; a sort of queasiness that you may have after eating a bad piece of fruit, or an undercooked dish. Needless to say, I cut my day's adventures short and returned to my residence to sleep it off. A few hours later, I was overcome with an intense throbbing pain in my back. The appropriate agencies were notified, and I returned once again to my room to try and sleep it off.

Long story short, I find myself sitting in the ER of Ottawa General Hospital, an IV in my arm, undergoing a battery of blood and urine tests, as well as a CT scan. After all that, I was diagnosed with a 5mm kidney stone. Painfully unfun.

In a roundabout way, I am glad that I live in a country where if I have a health problem, I can go and see a doctor and not have to worry about the cost. I'm glad that I can focus on getting better, and not fretting bills. Because lets face it: being in pain is no fun; having to deal with financial pain at the same time can be fatal.

The Best Things in Life...

2009-09-12T11:32:00.000-04:00

are the things you stumble across. Now, this isn't a tale of "boy meets girl" or even "boy meets epic figure." This is a tale of a random bus ride to an ill fated party, which resulted in the discovery of something even more awesome.

The music scene in Ottawa is excellent, but venues are hard to find, and reasonably priced shows are even fewer and farther between. Unfortunately, Ottawa simply isn't Montreal (though some days I suspect it wishes it was). Despite that shortcoming, some floor mates and I had caught wind of what was rumoured to be an epic party. You know, the ones that university students throw, and embarrassing pictures are put on Facebook, and someone usually throws up in an awkward place because they couldn't pace themselves. One of those.

Anyways, as we get off the first bus and prepare to board a second, we see that a house has a drum kit and a bunch of other audio equipment set up in the living room. No sooner has this happened than the organizer of this local scene concert pops out the door and has us all inside, listening to some very excellent music.

Seriously, this house was sweet, with eclectic wall decorations, a glow-light basement, and several bands from Halifax playing in 2 different rooms.

Long story short, this discovery would never have happened if we didn't hop on this bus and try and get to what turned out to be a non-existant party.

Maybe music isn't dead, maybe we all just forgot what it sounded like.

F*CK Ottawa U and other dirty limericks

2009-09-08T22:23:00.000-04:00

Well, Frosh week has certainly been a crash course in many things, from chirping on Uzero students with cheers that would make your grandmother blush to chanting (and subsequently shouting yourself hoarse), to dealing with loud drunken boors outside your door (plug in the iPod and play some Miles Davis).

Just being here in the capital is an awesome experience. I feel that I have made the perfect place, and fit in with all the other characters that populate the stage. A kaleidoscope of faces each and every day; joking around with other frosh, it truly is a wondrous place.

I am planning to make the trek tomorrow to Haven Books, supporting fellow students by re-using textbooks. One more way to help the environment and keep the fees from getting too obscene. On that note, everyone that is in university, mark November 5th as an important date, as people across Canada will be demanding that university fees be reduced.

So that's all for now; I have to tend to the sunburn and skype with people, so ciao!

Gone like whispers, gone like rain

2009-09-03T23:47:00.000-04:00

It's funny how people put such an emphasis on material goods, only to realize that there are but a few things that truly matter. Case in point: I lived in a room that is easily 20 metres square, yet everything that I need to survive (in theory) fits in 4 average sized suitcases (2 clothing, 1 life essentials, and 1 mixed) and a backpack. Makes me wonder what all fills those enormous McMansions I see while driving around.

Anyways, now that the deep and thoughtful ideas are out of the way...I will officially be moving tomorrow at 2:45pm. Therefore, my next post will be from my new home town.

I would also like to put a big "THANK YOU!!!11!1!!1!" to my family and friends for all their support over the past few days. It's been really hectic, and I really do appreciate all the love and support from everyone.

Finally, I don't want to say "good bye" to everyone living here at home; rather I want to say, see you in a while at a different spot.

Pre move

2009-09-02T01:13:00.000-04:00

Well, it was bound to happen eventually. All of my things packed up in suitcases, new toiletries, new computer, and an overwhelming sense of dread. As is noted by the time of this post, I am currently suffering insomnia over my eminent move out of my house. Never mind the fact that my younger brother has started moving his stuff in to my space (talk about a hostile takeover), I still need to get my things and go.

I guess it's the usual jitters everyone has before they are cut loose from their traditional home with parents and sometimes pets and siblings, but I can't help but feel rather nervous about the whole ordeal. It's not like I've done anything wrong or whatnot, it's that whole "fear of the unknown" deal.

Ahh well, such is the life of the first year student. More posts to follow